Rant Grenade: What Happened to the Flying Car

Coming to the dealership in the summer of hell freezes over.

Coming to the dealership in the summer of hell freezes over.

I’ve been around the world and met a lot of people along the way in this war in the trenches.  Despite changing zip codes, country codes, coworker demographics, and uniforms, somehow I invariably have the same conversation with whatever happens to be my present social circle.  Somebody in the circle will say, “man, whatever happened to the flying car?  This is supposed to be the 21st century, the future dammit.  They promised me a flying car!”  Then everybody agrees vehemently and talk ensues about how ultra awesome the flying car would be.  They want one too.

Am I the only one who’s ever had this conversation occur and reoccur?  Maybe it is just me, and I bring this discussion upon myself somehow.  I know I used to be in the circle, vehemently agreeing.  Because it flies miles above awesome.  In my mind the flying car is the conveyance of choice of Jesus Christ.  Then realization struck; I suddenly figured out the answer to the all powerful initial question: whatever happened to the flying car?

We happened.  We suck.  We can barely drive in two damn dimensions, yet everybody’s screaming to drive in three?  This ain’t the Jetsons, this is a world where people tweet and text and eat and spill coffee in their own laps while they’re driving.  You know those people who drive regular ass cars that do any number of things that’ll have you yelling and ranting and getting ever closer to a coronary?  Imagine them dive bombing at you cause they’re busy putting on make-up, or envision them coming up at you in a straight vertical… collision course your floorboard where you can’t even see your impending doom… because they’re too busy rooting through their futuristic glove box to see they’re climbing like Crackhead Icarus.

We live in the 21st Century, where our smartphones do more than tricorders in Star Trek.  We’ve pretty much put Wall-E on Mars, where he’s collecting rocks until a sleek new robot comes through for an adventure of a lifetime.  Honestly, I think we’ve got the technology to make flying cars the standard in a marketplace where literally everyone wants one.  The only reason we don’t have them is because it would usher in Self-Inflicted Doomsday.

Until we learn to stop doing this, we're staying on wheels.

Until we learn to stop doing this, we’re staying on wheels.


Filed under Rant Grenades

10 responses to “Rant Grenade: What Happened to the Flying Car

  1. Anonymous

    Another great post. Just wondered if you ever saw Lewis Black’s rant about flying cars. He was bemoaning the fact that we didn’t have them. He ended by saying he knew when we’d have them quoting his obituary, he said comedian Lewis Black passed away last week, etc. etc. The services will be at… space for parking your flying cars will be provided.


  2. DMV Pilots?

    Couldn’t imagine DMV drivers navigating air traffic. These buttholes read books & put on makeup on the hwy. The annonyance of high taxes on personal crafts would stop me from owning one initially.

  3. Totally agree, which is why we need a self-driving car before a flying car. 😛

  4. jj

    Robbers will steal these and if the cops don’t have them they will be firing guns in the air and using missiles.

  5. Sak

    Hey i think i realize some reality that can actually make the object fly without using old age tech like today. imagine why the earth is flying the sun and start are all flying without any technology. why don’t we think how the natural environment make these object flooding in the space we can copy the somethings. in my option everything is possible as far as human can imagine to.

  6. Sak

    currently our imagination is block and only think of win the gravity but why don’t think other way. like how gravity occur what component of gravity and we can build a gravity free technology and there are possible ways. now we use a very low tech that consume ton of fuel to run the turbine. i think we can fly without inside explosion tech. may be no machine at all. i am not mad!

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