I was actually hoping to stave off my latest war journal until I had something upbeat to report. But I got nothing. I’m still in a bit of a slump when it comes to acceptance letters. The weather’s turning colder and will turn colder still. Like last year, soon the showers will churn out ice water. Thanksgiving is coming, with Christmas to follow. I’ll be in Afghanistan for the both of them.
Christmas is the hardest to stomach. My wife’s not much for it, but me, I miss the lights dancing everywhere, the holiday music playing in all the stores, the openly expressed idea that this is the perfect time to enjoy life with family. People complain about the crass commercialism, but spending a few years in Iraq and Afghanistan can make anyone a believer. Instead of meticulous, beautiful store decorations, you may get a string of lights stuck to the wall with duct tape, left there to dangle like it was a leftover from the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
Melancholy’s strong, and I have other demons I wrestle with that are mine alone to wrestle. When this kind of thing happens, when it all seems to feel futile, I like to just crawl into my crappy bed, pull the covers up and wake up to a new day. It’s taking a bit longer for me to see the sunrise on that new day, but maybe that’s because the days are shorter now. No worries, gang, I’m not quitting on you, or even feeling like it’s time to quit. I’m still committed to fighting the war in the trenches. It’s just a Cold War now. Winter is here.
Since I’m bereft of positive things to really say, I’ll leave you with some tunes that you may not have known about. I’ve been listening to these songs for different reasons.
The first is Phoenix’s 1901. It gets me in an upbeat mood… I think you can’t help but nod your head to it.
The second here is Aphex Twin’s Windowlicker. It’s moody.
The third is Daft Punk’s Digital Love. It makes me think of my wife, whom I miss dearly.